Mental Health is the One True Wealth

A Princess and her Journey to Health

Month: February, 2015

Eating Disorder Awareness week

The past two weeks I’ve been struggling again, not with food restricting but with over eating. I’ve been reaching for sugary, processed foods and my motivation to workout has been low to non existent. I’ve come so far in my battle with an eating disorder and bad body image. The fear of gaining weight is still a very real problem for me though. If I skip a few days of working out, I’m actually convinced I can feel myself gaining weight. That isn’t healthy and it isn’t normal, but it’s how I deal with things and as long as I’m not slipping backwards, I think it’s fairly alright.

The journey to where I am now was not an easy one. At times, I didn’t think I could get here but I did. I won. My life is my own now, there are no negative factors influencing me. My thoughts are my own, my brain works in a healthy manner. I don’t try to destroy myself anymore. When I was ill, I hated myself. I wanted to rip apart everything I was because I simply wasn’t good enough. But I was me and that alone is enough. I’m not as thin as I was during my eating disorder but I’m also not as sad. I see great things in myself, I know my capabilities, I know I can achieve whatever I put my mind to and strive for. Before, I didn’t see my future and that’s understandable seeing as I didn’t even know if I would have one. I was weak but I never fully gave into it. Part of me was always fighting to get better. Despite bulimia’s best efforts, I’m still breathing and I’m stronger than I’ve ever been. You didn’t weaken me, you just made me stronger. 

Sia’s ‘Elastic Heart’ has some powerful lyrics that I can identify with, 

“I know that I can survive

I’ll walk through fire to save my life
And I want it, I want my life so bad
I’m doing everything I can”
Elastic Heart

The music video is also very powerful so click the link and check it out if you haven’t already. To me, the little girl represents an eating disorder and she’s trying to break down the man, the cage represents the feeling of isolation and captivity that comes with an eating disorder. The first time I saw the video, I cried. The accuracy of it. I know some people said the video suggested pedophilia, in my opinion that is sheer ignorance but it can be perceived in different ways. I see a man fighting with the seemingly harmless little girl. He fights her but she pursues him. She leaves and he desperately tries to get her back, she comes back and he embraces her. She leaves him one last time and he feels lost without her. Call me crazy, but that was my eating disorder in a nutshell.

I’m urging any of you out there who are struggling to please ask for help. Talk to a family member, a friend or a specialist. There are plenty of websites out there, in Ireland I know of Bodywhys, who offer support and counselling. You don’t have to feel trapped forever. Recovery isn’t easy but it’s worth it, every painful moment is worth the joy that comes after and the life you gain.

For people in Ireland reading this, I’d ask you to please donate €2 to Bodywhys to help them continue their work by texting ‘Body’ to 50300. Stay strong lovelies and remember what all this is for.

The Building of a Booty

Hey everyone!
So these past two months I’ve really been focusing on my fitness and my body. My body. I know, sigh. What’s new? Well, what’s new is that I’m not on a diet. I’m not calorie counting and I sure as hell am not trying to lose weight! So, my fitness journey is aiming towards building muscle, becoming stronger and of course, it’s about the booty.

I did try a month long squat challenge but alas, it was not to be. I threw in the towel around day seventeen when it started feeling more like a chore than fun. By day thirty I was expected to be able to do 250 squats. Seeing as I was just starting out, it’s possible that I may have bitten off more than I could chew. Whoops. Classic Sorcha move!
This is the squat challenge I was following if anyone is interested:

It was just one I found on instagram and although I didn’t finish it, I definitely saw results. My butt is now much bigger and my glutes grew too. I’m gonna give it another whack once I’m a little more dedicated to the cause.

I’m proud to say that I’ve finished three full days of workouts on Cassey Ho’s workout calendar this month and I hope I can keep up the motivation to finish the whole month. The blogilates app is available I’m the app or play store to download for free and I can’t recommend it enough. The workouts are so intense and really enjoyable so if you’re looking for something for home workouts, this could be the thing for you!

This month as a little extra fun, along with the regular monthly workout calendar, there’s a butt lift challenge which you can find here:

I can’t wait to see how this works out! I’ve been eating clean most of the time but once I week I yolo meal. That’s like a cheat meal. Calories and fat content don’t matter for my yolo meal and they seriously feed my soul. This month I’m focusing on building a bigger booty, a smaller waist and a flatter stomach. I’ll keep you guys updated on my progress.

Happy Sweating lovelies!

February fitspiration