it seems like the months have just flown by since Christmas and I’m getting nervous and excited. College is fast approaching and I’m just not ready. On one hand, I’m so ready to try living independently and having that freedom to see if I can handle living away from home. On the other hand, I’m leaving my home town and all my family and friends to go to Dublin, where I don’t know anybody. It’s gonna be such a big step for me and honestly, I’m a little scared. I’ve come along way in a year and some days I really wish I were in college right now and I feel like maybe I got left behind. I’m anxious to get there and do well. I don’t want it to be like my final exams all over again. I don’t want to get in the way of myself like I did with those. I know I can be great if I try and I want this so bad but my emotions stunt my growth sometimes and that scares me. It’s like I trip over myself and I’m tired of that happening. I want to be great.
Im terrified I don’t get into the course I want. I don’t have a back up plan and I know, I should have, but what if all I want is that one thing? It is all I want and it’s out of my hands now. It’s kinda up to fate now whether or not I get it. I hope I do, I really hope. Maybe next year I’ll be more motivated all round to be better and be the best version of myself. My workouts aren’t as fun as they once were and with college and saving, paying for gym membership just isn’t very high on the list of priorities right now. But I would love a personal trainer and gym membership. Someone to whip my ass into shape when I’m not pushing myself as hard as I can. I’m really considering buying the Kayla Itsines Bikini Body Guide. If any of you have any feedback on those, I’d love to hear so drop me a comment. I’ve seen such amazing progress pics but I’d love to get a better idea of what the programme is like.
I’m settling back into my normal schedule and treated myself to some full body pampering for the first time in ages. I don’t know but having smooth legs makes me feel fab! I’m not eating as healthy as I was a few weeks ago but I’ll get back into it. My chocolate cravings are a little crazy! But I’m fighting against them. Getting serious about making those changes. I’ll keep you all posted.