There have been a few blog posts I’ve been considering writing for quite some time and today I even sat down and started to write one but the words didn’t come. So instead, I’m doing what I do best and writing from the heart and probably sharing too must of myself online. What’s new there? Anyway, I’ll keep going.
This post means a lot to me because it deals with identity and finding yourself, and losing yourself too. I’ve been in a relationship for just over three years. In this time so much of my life has changed. That is the people in my life, my perceptions of them and who I choose to associate with. The thing is, my significant other is significantly older than me. Like, by a lot. He’s 23 years my senior. Shock horror, I know. I don’t tell people this and I didn’t tell anybody for a long time because I was conditioned to think that that was wrong. I’m not ashamed of my relationship. We live in a society that is so quick to judge and the very people who should have supported me most when they found out about my relationship turned their backs on me. One whole half of my extended family basically completely turned away from me because of who I loved. What type of shitty people? Anyway, it was because of the negative reaction of those that were supposed to support me that I guess I just decided to hide it? The age gap in my relationship is actually one of the least interesting things about me.
My boyfriend is a whole huge part of my life so to hide him and our relationship took a huge part of myself away. I didn’t post so much on social media where people I knew where and it just impacted my mental health negatively. I have changed for the better dramatically since meeting my boyfriend. He has a calming effect on my personality and he has taught me to be kinder. I’m much better because of him. He’s honestly the most supportive, caring partner I could ask for. This messed me up a lot because I was made to feel as though our relationship was wrong, like I was being taken advantage of or like I had daddy issues. In all transparency I probably do but so would you if you we brought up like me lol. (Go read Sticks and Stones for reference) But the thing is, I need someone who is nurturing and supportive. I can’t deal with guys my age because I’m in no way into the idea of having to baby a man or deal with silly childish games. In my relationship we’re able to talk to each other openly and not hide things from each other.
We make perfect sense as a couple because we share the same world view, we have the same sense of humour, we balance each other out. I’ve always been more mature than my years and I honestly just needed someone who is on my level. I don’t want to wait until I’m 30 to have kids with someone who isn’t sure if they’re ready to grow up. I want kids probably in the next year or two and I’m so ready to get married. I’m finally secure enough in myself to be able to say these things and not particularly care what anyone says/thinks about that. I’m so tired of people not understanding that you can love whoever you want to love and there isn’t anything that should make one relationship less valid than another. I’m happy and at the end of the day, that’s all the really matters.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.